Skin and Bone Stories
by TheSquirrelLordess
Summary: All your fav characters in a mish mash of stories. I keep writing really short stories that aren't long enough to be put as seperate ones so... here ya go! Later stories will include Valduggery, Valguine, Ghanith, Duskyrie, Chinduggery, OC's and much more! Just click da button :3 Xx


Meeting Damon

Damon thought she was a dream. It was just another day at work, stealing old ladies purses and getting into trouble wherever he could, but as he was on the verge of being arrested again by a living skeleton, a beautiful girl with raven hair and dark, sparkling eyes wandered in and handcuffed his partner. Damon's partner gave her what he obviously thought was a menacing glare but she laughed in his face and dragged him to the cleavers by his tie. God knows why he chose to wear those old things.

"Damon Donovan and Zander Ryker, you're under arrest" she said and happily lead Damon away too. Zander was scowling and glaring at the girl from the back seat of what seemed to be a Bentley. The skeleton got behind the wheel and they started chatting as they drove.

"Sorry for asking- But who are you?" Zander drawled in his Australian accent.

"You haven't heard of the Skeleton Detective?" The skeleton who Daman assumed was the legendary Skulduggery Pleasant.

"You, yes. Her, no" Zander continued with a vaguely bored expression. The girl scowled and Skulduggery roared with laughter.

"You see? I'm the legendary one" Skulduggery laughed and the girl stuck her tongue out at him.

"I'm his partner-"

"_You're _Valkyrie Cain?!" Zander blurted. The girl smiled and shot Skulduggery a triumphant look.

"That's me"

"You're so…" Daman finally decided to speak but found he tripped over his own words.

"Young?"

"Not the word I was going for but… yeah"

"I know exactly what word he was going for" Zander laughed and winked at Daman who scowled back. Luckily, Valkyrie hadn't noticed and was happily chatting away about some people called 'Ghastly' and 'Ravel' to Skulduggery who nodded every now and then. When they reached the sanctuary Daman was thrown into a cell with Zander before either of them could say anything else to Valkyrie. She didn't even seem to notice as they were roughly shoved into a bare, stone room.

"Nice one. You had to go and get caught, didn't you?" Zander shook his head and Daman shrugged.

"How was I supposed to know the random building I scribbled graffiti all over happened to be the Sanctuary walls?"

"They didn't choose this place for its charm, did they?"

"No kidding. You'd think there was a war from the way people are acting"

"Not her though, am I right?"

"What?"

"Valkyrie. You've got a soft spot for her, I can tell"

"Not really. She's pretty though, isn't she?"

"I guess so, yeah" Zander was happily setting up his bed as he did every time they were thrown into jail.

"It was only some trouble making, so we should only be in here for a few nights. A week at most" Daman said as he stood up and arranged his own bed.

"True" Zander yawned and stretched out. He rolled onto his bed and managed to fall asleep quickly. Daman looked up at the ceiling and thought about the girl. Where she was, what she was doing and who she was with.

Finally, he couldn't stand being locked in here with his own thoughts anymore. He hauled himself out of bed and started working on the door. In a small, simple cell like this it should only take a few minutes for him to break out. In the morning, he'd go back and get Zander so they could leave. The door clicked open and he stepped out to begin his short journey. His mind never really strayed from the girl in black he'd met earlier.

The Valkyrie.

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Valkyrie almost tripped over as the steps in front of her melted into clear floor. Skulduggery uncharacteristically landed flat on his face and Ghastly roared with laughter.

"I was showing my combat accessory how to trip with style" Skulduggery insisted, dusting himself off. Ghastly chuckled one last time before gathering up some papers Skulduggery had knocked onto the floor.

"I've been wanting to try that one out for ages. Some lady on the street was selling fake stairs to all the mortals. I bought one off her before sending some agents to make her put a stop to it"

"Sneaky" Valkyrie smiled and helped him gather up some flyaway sheets. Skulduggery was sat on a chair in front of Ghastly's desk.

"It wasn't that funny you know"

"Oh but it _was_!" Ghastly and Valkyrie said simultaneously and if Skulduggery had a mouth he would've scowled.

"I see you rounded up those guys who spray painted a cow onto the Sanctuary entrance" Ghastly continued and Skulduggery brightened up a bit.

"Of course I caught them. I'm amazing"

"You're not amazing" Valkyrie interrupted.

"I am. You love me"

"I don't. I keep you around for finance purposes" Valkyrie joked and Skulduggery feigned being hurt.

"My partner doesn't love me anymore Ghastly. I simply can't work in these conditions"

"Anymore?" Valkyrie laughed and punched him lightly on the arm.

"You're a cruel, cruel person"

"I know I am. It's part of my charm"

"You have charm?"

"Tons of it, dear Skulduggery. People fall at my feet" Valkyrie said and Skulduggery pretended to faint. The idea was so ridiculous that Valkyrie burst out giggling.

"Stop having fun. This isn't what I pay you for" Ghastly grumbled in a good natured way and handed them one of the papers he'd recently picked up off the floor.

"A blank piece of paper? Cases really are getting difficult these days, aren't they?" Skulduggery chuckled and Valkyrie rolled her eyes.

"Turn it over, bone head"

The other side was covered with a list of vampire sightings along the beach by Haggard. Valkyrie stared hard at every picture and bit her lip. It was hard to make out the hazy shape of the speeding vampire, but it looked an awful lot like Caelan. It was probably just a coincidence but it worried her all the same. Skulduggery mistook her worry for her concern about the vampire being so close to her home.

"We'll catch it" he reassured her and he gave him a weak smile.

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Valkyrie pulled Skulduggery's jacket roughly and yanked him behind a house as Caelan turned to face where they would've been. From only seeing the back of his head and only meeting Caelan once or twice, Skulduggery didn't realise this was any different to any other vampire. As soon as Caelan had stood still enough for Valkyrie to get a good look, she'd panicked. Skulduggery tilted his skull and Valkyrie had no choice but to explain why she was so cautious.

"The vampire won't hurt you if I get there first"

"He already has" Valkyrie mumbled so quietly that a normal person wouldn't have hear her. Unfortunately, Skulduggery wasn't a normal person.

"You know him?"

"It's Caelan" Valkyrie hissed and Skulduggery stiffened.

"I thought you killed him"

"Me too"

Skulduggery glanced around the corner and caught a glimpse of Caelan's hair. He was about to charge at him but Valkyrie caught him.

"We'll charge together in 3… 2… 1…" Valkyrie took off running with Skulduggery sprinting alongside hr. Caelan turned around and seemed momentarily stunned to see his ex-girlfriend running at him. He jolted into action and spun out of the way at the last minute. Skulduggery shot past but Valkyrie dug her heel into the ground and came to a sudden holt.

"You were dead" she said and aimed a punch at him, which he dodged easily.

"I am"

"Destroyed, then"

"I don't have to breathe. I just didn't open my mouth until I could push myself to safety"

"Why didn't the others do that?"

"The infected aren't as smart as us vampires. They probably didn't even realise saltwater can kill them"

Valkyrie swung her boot towards his head but he caught it and picked her up. She kneed him in the stomach and he dropped her. By this time, Skulduggery was hastily loading bullets into his gun, keeping an eye on them at all times.

"I still love you" he said and she responded with a sharp slap to the face.

"You. Tried. To. Kill. Me" Valkyrie hissed between punches, most of which missed him.

"I didn't mean it. I'm sorry"

"Sorry? Sorry's not good enough. If I'd died, what would you have done? Would you have said _sorry_?"

"I'd have thrown myself off the pier"

Skulduggery interrupted him by pointing a gun at his head.

"You hurt my partner. We all know what happens to people who hurt my partner"

"I love her"

"Shut up" Skulduggery's finger twitched on the trigger and Caelan flinched.

"Please don't hurt me" he whimpered and Skulduggery laughed.

"Poor old vampy. Help me load him into the back, would you? He's got a nice warm jail cell waiting for him"

Valkyrie opened the door for Caelan who had no choice but to get in. He touched Valkyrie's hair from the back seat and she slapped him away.

"I'll never hurt you again"

"You got that right" Skulduggery grunted and hauled him towards the gaol.

"Don't you think the gaol's a bit extreme?" Valkyrie said as they wandered through corridors.

"He tried to kill you. And Fletcher. Oh- and all those other people he murdered"

"True"

"I need to go talk to Ravel about something. Important… Alone…" Skulduggery said and walked off to the Grand Mage's office. Valkyrie caught up with him and tapped his shoulder. He stopped as she crossed her arms.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why can't I come?"

"Come where?"

"Why can't I come with you to speak to Ravel?"

"Why _would _you be able to come with me?"

"Stop answering my questions with questions"

"Sorry dear"

"Apology accepted. Now let's go to Ravel"

"No" Skulduggery said and sped off before Valkyrie could catch up. She glared at the space he'd occupied moments before and made evil plans to destroy his hat. As she took slow, deliberate steps towards the gaol where she hoped to annoy Caelan some more, she came face to face with a boy with auburn hair and green eyes she'd arrested earlier. His name was Damian, or something like that anyway. They froze for a full minute before the boy opened his mouth to speak.

"Um… hi?"

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**Heyah!**

**This is what all those weird names mean... Damon= 'Loyal friend', Donovan= 'Strong fighter', Zander (Short for Alexander- Zander's given name)= Protector, Ryker= Powerful ruler**

**Hope you enjoyed and please review! If you tell me something (ANYthing!) I'll do my best to put it in the story. Would you like a pairing? Would you like your name as a character? Would you like your looks as a character? Would you like a new storyline? A twsit in th plot? REVIEW!**

**TheSquirrelLordess**

**P.S This is my first story in this collection but there'll be many more with all different characters/romances/stories...**


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